http://www.mycity4kids.com/parenting/face-to-face/article/kids-are-you-ready-to-be-social
Eklavya is a single child of his parents and living in a nuclear family. Nuclear family just like joint family brings its pros and cons to the family members especially to the kids. These kids’s world revolves around their parents only. And if parents also do not have time for social life then kid’s social life development will be entirely on his perception and level of acceptance about socializing.
BUT every child is special and unique in his character traits. Some of the kids do not need any encouragement from their parents about socializing and most of the kids need that special attention for their social development. Eklavya also fell in this category of kids who need encouragement for their social engagement. His parents ensured that his social development should be in sync with his age and tried various measures for that.
His mom set a routine of going to society’s kid’s park so that he will get a chance to see new faces apart from his parents and a housemaid. As per his mom’s perspective, there are lots of benefits of going to the park or kids’ play area. He will meet up with kids of various ages say younger or older than him or of his age. He will start mingling and making friends initially of course from parent’s encouragement. He will start to learn playing with other kids. He will get to see activities of other kids in the park. He will start getting interest in various outdoor plays like cricket, football and park slides etc.
At the next level of social development, Eklavya started to recognize neighbor kids and their parents, started imitating facial expressions and gestures of other kids and developed social smile-smiling on recognising someone familiar.
When Eklavya became familiar and friendly with his neighbor friends, his mom started to arrange play dates at their home or neighbor friend’s house so that he can learn to play with other kids by sharing their toys and other playing accessories. Also, getting comfort zone in playing with other kids in his home or neighbor’s house.
Eklavya’s mom also ensured that he would go to the birthday parties or any family get-together so that he will get familiar with the crowd at the parties but by the time. Otherwise, kids unfamiliar with the crowd start getting cranky or uncomfortable in the parties by seeing so many unknown faces and loud music of the party. Getting comfortable in the parties or crowded places is also a big milestone in the social development of the child which will be achieved by the child at his own pace. Here parent’s encouragement is must but not forcing the child to enjoy the party for their parent’s sake.
Nowadays, you will get to see various baby shows for kids from aged 3 months onwards and other stage shows for very young kids say 1+ year in playschools or daycares. Some kids respond very well in the shows even at their young age and some do not get comfortable and starts crying. The kid who is not comfortable at the show means he is not ready for it. He will take some more time to get accustomed with this kind of play and once he will become familiar, he will also start enjoying it. On the other hand, the kid who performed as expected in one show does not imply that he will perform as expected in every other show as their age is very young say around 0-2 years and they have unpredictable mood. If they do not want to perform they won’t as they do not have that sense of responsibility that they have to perform it anyways. So, let them grow like this only, encourage them for their betterment but do not force and connect your pride with them. They will blossom at their own pace just like Eklavya who was initially not comfortable with these shows of his school but by the time he started enjoying these shows.
Kids who stay at the daycare get much time for socializing with other kids as well as other people like their teacher or maid as compared to the kids who stay with their mom, grandparents or caretaker but that does not mean that every kid who stays at the daycare is more social than the kids of other category. Daycare kids became familiar with their social circle there and so became comfortable there but when they meet new kids or people then again same behavior will be shown as by the kids of other category as younger kids have unpredictable mood. But definitely, daycare and playschools are good choices for increasing social engagement of child.
Social development of a child may depend on many factors like parents contribution and encouragement towards his socializing, parents behavior, outside environment, child health and most important one whether child is ready or not. As every child is a unique gift of god, don’t be in hurry, encourage them and let them blossom at their own pace.
Fussyeater 